My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
