dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
