forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
