Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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