Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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