well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
