So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
