it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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