i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize