Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
