I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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