have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
