Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
