Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
