I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
