Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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