I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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