Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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