Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Alarm just got pulled in my exam

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Swear it wasn't me

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  (517): Alarm just got pulled in my exam (517): Swear it wasn't me http://tfl.nu/3yrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1889) Bad night (610)
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  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (856) Bad night (3221)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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  (678): Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/zwpt
  Replies (50) Good night (4893) Bad night (599)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

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  (617): there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store http://tfl.nu/cjt7
  Replies (23) Good night (10407) Bad night (716)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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  (267): Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented". http://tfl.nu/soll
  Replies (10) Good night (2051) Bad night (3397)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3297) Bad night (984)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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  (251): I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer. http://tfl.nu/4bxr
  Replies (14) Good night (2206) Bad night (898)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...

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  (814): I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too... http://tfl.nu/zmym
  Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (1180)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

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  (516): I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much http://tfl.nu/71lk
  Replies (1) Good night (1184) Bad night (569)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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  (618): His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark. http://tfl.nu/bjsg
  Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (1324)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (542)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS

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  (336): MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS http://tfl.nu/4mur
  Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (503)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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  (612): He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket. (1-651): It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm. http://tfl.nu/ei3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2347) Bad night (353)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!

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  (404): PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!! http://tfl.nu/r6da
  Replies (12) Good night (1867) Bad night (547)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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  (203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (204)

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