I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
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There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?