Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

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  (909): good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant http://tfl.nu/4y6m
  Replies (10) Good night (590) Bad night (2565)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i just had sex bonerless

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  (518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn
  Replies (84) Good night (1623) Bad night (12169)
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  (518): View more from New York

  everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.

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  (518): everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/bvtl
  Replies (30) Good night (3979) Bad night (707)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.

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  (314): Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though. http://tfl.nu/zzah
  Replies (18) Good night (6288) Bad night (607)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

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  (334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that? http://tfl.nu/908j
  Replies (38) Good night (1473) Bad night (3382)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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  (864): I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me? http://tfl.nu/6foj
  Replies (4) Good night (4492) Bad night (948)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

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  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (37) Good night (9925) Bad night (1390)
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  (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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  (530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (3094)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?

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  (614): She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper? http://tfl.nu/v6av
  Replies (13) Good night (1432) Bad night (3516)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (201): MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/cgk3
  Replies (8) Good night (3352) Bad night (552)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK

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  (401): I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK http://tfl.nu/01hq
  Replies (2) Good night (1042) Bad night (396)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.

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  (252): Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in. http://tfl.nu/6mb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (600)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol

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  (913): The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol http://tfl.nu/w5ds
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (706)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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  (616): i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm. http://tfl.nu/enq5
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (310)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."

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  (570): I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls." http://tfl.nu/63z2
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (261)

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