WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree