i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.