Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up http://tfl.nu/1cet
  Replies (29) Good night (3952) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13860) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a
  Replies (29) Good night (3412) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1764) Bad night (7356)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is. http://tfl.nu/unb6
  Replies (13) Good night (4913) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family. http://tfl.nu/wcpl
  Replies (8) Good night (912) Bad night (5339)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair http://tfl.nu/ktbm
  Replies (10) Good night (965) Bad night (8138)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
  Replies (13) Good night (6335) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night http://tfl.nu/nrlr
  Replies (12) Good night (7141) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc
  Replies (13) Good night (1300) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here? http://tfl.nu/5xbh
  Replies (6) Good night (432) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back http://tfl.nu/vrz8
  Replies (7) Good night (835) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake. http://tfl.nu/lvqj
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (212)

Randomize