it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
