I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!