Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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  (708): Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus? http://tfl.nu/ye38
  Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (698)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I stuck it in and pulled it out

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Did she like it?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  She giggled?

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  She liked it

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  (678): I stuck it in and pulled it out (1-678): Did she like it? (678): She giggled? (1-678): She liked it http://tfl.nu/eiw1
  Replies (12) Good night (3943) Bad night (816)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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  (502): if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings... http://tfl.nu/axpi
  Replies (16) Good night (3493) Bad night (691)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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  (509): Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied. http://tfl.nu/w7qp
  Replies (17) Good night (1004) Bad night (6152)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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  (613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9
  Replies (58) Good night (8496) Bad night (2253)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides

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  (847): she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides http://tfl.nu/frdu
  Replies (51) Good night (12611) Bad night (1251)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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  (224): Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/yhb5
  Replies (39) Good night (4473) Bad night (1098)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.

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  (318): Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks. http://tfl.nu/1pi3
  Replies (5) Good night (2610) Bad night (971)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.

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  (810): I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well. http://tfl.nu/a4oz
  Replies (10) Good night (3361) Bad night (758)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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  (713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr
  Replies (6) Good night (1858) Bad night (694)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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  (218): He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity http://tfl.nu/7l4i
  Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (566)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south

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  (205): I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south http://tfl.nu/kpax
  Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (642)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...

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  (617): Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed... http://tfl.nu/fkp9
  Replies (7) Good night (1482) Bad night (747)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard

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  (570): you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard http://tfl.nu/uhhr
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (534)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far

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  (505): Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far http://tfl.nu/o8xj
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (130)

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