i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.