im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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