the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
