"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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