Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
one two three fourrrrnication!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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