I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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