I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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