I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
