Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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