Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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