I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
