I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
