Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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