Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
