how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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