i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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