I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
