2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
