My liver just broke up with me...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
