By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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