I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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