The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
