before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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