I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
what day is it and did you see me today?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
