pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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