just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize