He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
