She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
