Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
