I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
