covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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