Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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