I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
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he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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