Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
