So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
