I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
