Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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