Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
