I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
