Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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