this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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