I got chris browned last night
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
