how can u be prego again
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
